When Teen Patti Met Poker

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Remember when Harry met Sally.. Sejal? Nah? We neither. But we’re surely remembering this epic meeting.

“Oh, oh! Sorry!” Teen Patti apologized, having bumped into someone. He was lost in thought, gloomy, and distracted. He had no awareness of his surroundings, and just walked like a drunken vagabond (sober, nonetheless)!

Kya bhai? You’ll say sorry and it’s over?” came the reply. The reply was arrogant, and careless. But this carelessness was different. It displayed vibrance and confidence. “Hi! Abey tu? Where do I know you from?” the chirpy voice continued, happier than before.

“Huh? What?” Teen Patti looked up, trying to make sense of his whereabouts. He squinted his eyes a little to see which old friend he had bumped into. “Oh, Hi! Sorry, I did not see you there. How have you been?”

Badhiya, Bro! How about you? And what’s with this constipated look?” the friend raised concern, humorously.

“Good for you man! Just… surviving! Life’s tough these days.” replied Teen Patti, in a more encouraging voice than before.

Kya baat kar raha hai, Bro? It’s Diwali time. OUR Time!”

“Have you seen my social presence? My Insta, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube followers are decreasing by the day. What’s happening with people? Their loyalties are shifting!” Teen Patti stated in a jealous manner.

Tujhe bola tha. Grow up with the growing times man. You’ll go to every guy, and ask them to invent their own variations? Consistency chahiye Bro!

“All these uncles were happy with me. Back in the day. Any way, I have seen your social presence. Itni coolness! On a roll you are these days!” Stated Teen Patti.

“Of course I am rolling bro. Blunts and all. Varying rules se nahin chalta, Bro! Half the people don’t get variations. And tera toh probability ka bhi koi scene nahin hai. You were always weak in Maths, right?”

“It’s not about that man. People are just wary of being associated with me. They want quicker rewards. Less Chhi-Chha Lather!” Continued Teen Patti, “and they have started to get weary about my multiple personality disorders.”

Abey, what’s this scene with a Suit being less probable than a Straight? What do you call it? Color and Sequence. Names to theek rakho yaar…” stated Texas Hold-Em.

“What to do man. Wohi famous ho gaya. And then there’s this apprehension that I won’t leave people till they go broke. With you it’s so much better. They meet you, greet you, associate with you. And get richer and more skillful. Tu to waise hi trending hai, bhai,” cribbed Teen Patti further.

“Stop complaining bro! It’s just not your time. Remember those days when I was literally unknown? Good that we have come far from those days.”

“Tell me about it man. But I still never reached your fame. Like, you’re hanging out with celebrities and all, bro! Milwa na Bhai!

Ye le, drag le!”

“Naa Bhai. I am on cheap shit these days. Affordability issues. Went all in, and tabh bhi Split Pot nahin hua… Lost a lot more than I had.”

Wahi to scene hai… Ab bata, how do you expect me to take you to them?”

“Bro! Come on, Bro!”

“Not happening bro. You need to sort your shit out. Take some advice. Make all your variations of just one kind. Two cards with each player. Five on the table. And change your hand rankings...”
“But then I’ll become more like you.”
“Now you’re talking sense!”
“F-you man. F You!”
And… since then… People prefer Texas Hold ‘Em Poker. He’s being popularly called Paanch Patti now.

To be continued….


Words by Ankit Malhotra